Happy Birthday Rae
by Little'Davies'Workin's
Summary: Tumblr prompt that I changed up a little .. basically Rae's had enough with the gang not talking and decides to fix things and then goes to her 'birthday' spot where finn unexpectedly turns up. She gets everything off her chest and tells him why she ended things and .. well.. happiness :)


She realizes what she's done now.

She realizes what the others were/are going through.

The voices were too loud and they momentarily blinded her of reality.

Finn left.

She didn't stop him.

He spelt it out, right in front of her eyes; indirectly asking her to ask him to stay; asking her to be his reason.

And she didn't see it.

The voices were blocking her; blocking her reason; blocking her senses.

Chloe's a mess.

She didn't see that either.

Well, she did. She just underestimated how down she was.

_What find of a friend am I?_

Izzy is confused.

She should have known and offered her a ear she could chew off.

But she didn't.

Because she wasn't fully there to actually help.

Chop.

What the fuck is going through his head?

_Oh, wait a second. Didn't he say something about his family being homaphobic? … Yup. That's it._ He can't fully accept Archie without feeling judged by his parents and his brother.

She'll have to talk to him about it when she finally leaves her room.

Archie.

Well, Archie just needs his friends. He needs that feeling of connection back. He needs to feel the love that they all shared. He needs that feeling of pure acceptance and not judgement.

Where did the love go?

_That's it. Rae get off ya fat arse and go make everything right. _

It took her just over half an hour to get out of her room and out of her house. She asked everyone(minus Finn, who wasn't here) to meet at the pub.

They were all there when she arrived. There was no conversation flowing. No Laughter, no smiles.

Nothing.

Just frowns and crossed arms.

_Nope. I've had enough of this shit._

Marching over to the table they were all spaced out around, she slammed her hands down, thankful of the loudness of the pub so nobody could interrupt them or eavesdrop. "Right. This ends now. Start talking."

Silence.

The gang just glanced at each other, not knowing what was going on, or what to say.

"Now!" She demanded.

After one more beat of silence, Izzy cleared her throat and spoke up. "Chop. I'm sorry about kissing that other bloke. I'm sorry, for not telling you about it and dumping you instead. I have no idea what came over me. It wasn't even that nice and I honestly don't even fancy him. I guess. Well." She paused a bit, refusing to meet his eye. Playing with her fingers and still avoiding eye-contact, she continued, "At first, everything with you and me were dead exciting. Then, I dunno, the excitement went I guess? I love you, Arnold. You know that. And I understand if you never want to talk to me again, but please, just know, that I'm sorry and that kiss didn't mean anything to me."

Chop's mask faded as soon as he saw a tear slip Izzy's eye. He was up and out the chair quicker that the human eye could catch. He bent down in front of Izzy and gently rested his man-hands on her cheeks; wiping away her tears with his thumbs.

"I understand what ya sayin', my fizzy Izzy. I just wish y'd talked to me instead." He said in a gentle voice; which the others raised their eyebrows at. Cutting her off before she could say something else, he rushed out, "Let's jus' star' over. Star' as friends. See if we can get tha' excitement back. Tha' spark. An' if it doesn't come back, well, we tri'd didn't we?"

Nodding her head, she accepted. He wiped the last of her tears away and gave her a loving kiss on her forehead, before making his way back to his seat.

When Chop raised his eyes back up, the first person he saw was Archie. Knowing what he needed to do, he quickly turned his head to the side, sharing a look with Rae, as if asking her if he was doing the right thing._She was the daddy after all. What do you expect?_ A subtle nod of her head, he turned back to Archie, looked him dead in the eye, and started.

"Arch, I've been a right dick'ead to ya these last couple weeks an' I don' thin' sorry will cut it, t' be fair. Ya know wha' th' fam's' like. Ya know how homophobic they are. An' ya know how how much they're opinion means t' me. But the thing is. When I were on the phone t' Raemondo earlia, she asked me, who's always been there when I needed 'em: me family, or you. Tha' answer is you. Ya've always been there. Ya've never judged. Ya always give us advise. An' I wasn't there for ya when ya needed me. An' I didn't see it at the time. An' ya can't even begin to process ho' fuckin' shit I feel 'bout that. Ya can treat me th' same I've treated ya if it'll help. Bu' I can't lose my friend. I were a coward. You were right. Ya always are, ya clever bastard." The gang shared a little chuckle, but Chop's eyes stayed serious and locked onto Archie's. "So wha' ya say? We can ge' past this can't we?"

Pretending the think about it for a couple of seconds, a cheeky grin came on Archie's face before he replied with a wink, "We can, but it'll cost ya a kiss."

All sharing another laugh, Chop got out of his seat again, and proudly made his way over to Archie. Grabbing him by the back of his neck, and pulling him into a lip to lip kiss and didn't separate for at least 6 seconds.

"If I ever switched teams it'd be for you, babes." He winked back.  
After another round of giggles, Archie looked at Chloe. Now, even though he hadn't personally done anything wrong, there was a pang of guilt in his chest.

"Chlo. Chloe, Chloe, Chloe. What are we gonna do with you ay? I'm sorry that I haven't been there for ya. I'm sorry for not seein' how miserable ya 're. I'm sorry for leading you on." They share a smile. "I'm sorry, we don't talk as much as we should. We should be closer than this, and for that, This weekend, I am all yours."

"Hey, us too." Rae, Chop and Izzy all cried out in union.

"Deal." Chloe agreed, before dramatically putting her hand in the middle of the table, waiting for the others to put their hands on top.

After they all threw their hands up in the air while shouting 'this weekend', Chloe went to start apologizing to Rae, but Rae quickly shut her down, saying that this wasn't about her, and she was happy now that the rest of them are. _Forgive and forget right? Anyway, I love you all too much to hold a grudge_.

She told them all about how sorry she is that she didn't really see what they were all going through. She told them how sorry she is for not being there when they need her. She told them how sorry she is for being selfish and too dependent on them. And she told them that from now on she's gonna start recognizing their pain and their troubles and be there for them better than she has been.

After saying all this and necking back a snakebite, Rae left, saying her mom was waiting for her back home. Archie offered her a ride home but she declined, claiming the air would do her good.

_Dear diary, _  
_Today was a good day. It's not over yet, it's about half six, but who cares? The gang have sorted everything out, we're actually a gang again. The only thing that's missing is Finn. But honestly? Even though today is actually my birthday - which nobody remembered - and Finn isn't here, I wouldn't change it. I actually feel normal. Kester and I have talked - I really don't like that 'Carrie' girl he's started to go out with, she's way too controlling if you ask me - and sorted everything out. We're on 'the same wave length' again. (his words not mine) anyway, Im actually smiling, which is nice, an- _  
_Oh shit. There's Liam. Gotta go diary._

"Rae?!" He called, trying to get her attention.

"Fuck off, Liam." She called back, walking faster.

He ran in front of her then, grabbing her by the shoulders to stop her as she tried to walk past. "I knew this would happen. I told ya. I told ya, you couldn't handle 'casual'-" He started a bit breathlessly, only to get cut off by Rae.

"It wasn't tha' I couldn't handle it, ya pillock! It was how disgusting and dirty and used, I felt afterwards. Ya don't care 'bout me Liam. We both know ya don't so just fuck off yeah. I really don't need t' be have this convo righ' now."

She walked away after. Not giving him time to respond.

It's about quarter past 7 now. She's sitting under a large oak tree on a large blanket with another wrapped around her. This is her place. No-one knows where this is. She's never seen anyone 'round here. She could literally run 'round naked if she wanted too, (not that she did) and she wouldn't get caught.

Rae was lost in a fantasy land when she heard a twig from behind her snap.

"Finn?" She asked, completely shocked to see him behind her.

"'appy birthday, Rae-Rae." He smiled at her.

_The things he can do with just one look._

And damnn, his lips.

"Wait..? Y-y-you, remembered my birthday?" She stuttered.

"Of course I did, ya silly girl." He playfully rolled his eyes, coming 'round the tree, so he could sit down next to her. "You told me about this place, and how you've always came here on ya birthday. On ya lonesome. Every year, like clock work." He grinned, and she returned it. Both looked down momentarily, a blush shading both their cheeks. "I've got ya a present."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Nothin' special, just a crap reggae record."

"Oh well ya lucky I've got me own turn-table" She giggled.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

There was a few moments of silence, but neither of them minded. Just being in each others presents was enough.

"I've just gotta ask you something." Finn whispered, just loud enough for Rae to hear.

"Go on?" She pushed.

Neither of them were looking at each other. But they did as soon as the question was out of Finn's mouth.

"Why'd ya dump me?"

After another couple minutes of silences and them just gazing into each others eyes. Rae whispered, "Honestly?"

"Honestly." He repeated, matching the same breathlessness her tone held.

Taking a deep breath, she returned her gaze to her hands - that she couldn't keep still, and started. Looking up at him from time to time.

"Well. Ya know how everyone has thoughts. Bad thoughts." He nodded. "Well, mine are more like voices. Angry voice that get me down. Voices that tell me how worthless I am. How ugly I am. How fat I am. An' how I don't belong here. Sometimes I can get over the voices but they get louder. And the worst part is; It's _my_ voice. I can't change it. I can't control it. But every time I'm happy they get louder."

Finn had took her shaking hand in his by now. He kept his eyes on her face, and waited patiently for her to continue. (If she still wanted too.) At the end of her sentence, he had to squeeze his eyes shut, for a moment. He hated seeing her like this. He hated his girl talking about herself like this. And although he wanted to tell her that she didn't have to keep talking if she didn't want to, he knew that she knew she didn't have to; he wasn't pressuring her.

"I'm really happy with you Finn. Ya know, unless you're with someone else." They share a small smile at that one, the pain, obvious in both their eyes. "But my friend Tix, she's just died and I hadn't accepted it. To be honest, I still haven't. I told you I was better and I lied. Well, I was more in denial but ya know. I blame myself for it. I should of been there for her. She'd always been there for me and the one time she really needed me I let her down." Her voice cracked as she sobbed, and Finn quickly pulled her into his warm, tight embrace.

He was stroking her hair and she sobbed into his neck. He only spoke when she calmed down a little bit. "She sounds like a real good friend, your Tix." She gave a small nod in his neck. "Sounds like she loved you as well."

She sobbed harder.

_Well that wasn't the reaction I was hoping to get._

She pulled back then, tears still escaping her eyes like a fire was spreading on her cheeks. "Bu' tha's th' problem isn't it. I hurt everyone I love, an' it's not fair. My mom, Tix, Chloe, Archie, You. I can't do it anymore Finn. I feel like I can't breathe. I don't feel worthy of anything. Of anyone. Of you. You don't deserve to have someone like me getting ya down. You don't deserve me hurting you sometime down the line. That's why I broke up with ya when I did. You deserve happiness. Nothing less but everything more. And that is something that I can't give you. No matter how much I love ya!"

Rae was about to say more but her lips were suddenly occupied.

By Finn.

And his lips.

His so soft, silky soft, lips.

_Oh, lips, how I've miss you._

_I'm home_. A voice in both Finn's and Rae's head squealed.

"I love you too, Rae. And I don't care about those voices. You need to stop caring about those voices. Care about mine, when I whisper all the things I love about you when we're alone. Care about mine, when I trace words against your skin when we're out. Care about mine when I tell you how much I love you for you. Care about mine when I whisper your name while we make passion love. Tell me when they get too loud so I can over power them. Tell me when things get too hard so I can try to ease them out. Tell me what's going on. Tell me more about Tix; the angel who went home sooner than she should of. Let me in. Let me love you. Let me admire your beauty, which I hate that you can't see. Let me whisper sweet nothings to you. Let me hold you. Let me be yours. Just be mine." He whispered against her lips. Foreheads rested together, and their hands on each other in a desperate grip.

"I fucking love you, Finn." She smiled.

"I fucking love you, Rae." He smiled back.

"Make love to me?" She whispered shyly against his lips as she leaned closer.  
"You sure?" He pulled back a little to look into her eyes, not wanting to take advantage to such a delicate situation.

"Positive."

Pushing her back onto the blanket, Finn covered Rae in hot open-mouthed kisses while slowing undressing her. Taking his time, he worshiped her body like the Goddess she is. And for once, Rae didn't feel embarrassed about her size. She actually appreciates it as it gives Finn more skin to cover with his delicious mouth.

Not caring about her moans, Rae leaned up a little to start undressing Finn. Sucking on his neck, hard enough to leave a love-bites.

Marks.

_Her_ marks.

On _her_ Finn.

Both completely naked, Finn quickly pulled a condom out of his wallet. When Rae raised her eyes at him, he sheepishly answered her unasked question. "Dad told me to always keep one in 'ere just in case. Never really thought I'd use it though."

Nodding her head, they quickly dismissed it, and continued. When Finn placed his hard shaft against her entrance, he paused, looking right into her eyes, he waited for her to confirm that she really wanted it. Seeing her eager nod, he blessed her lips with his once more, before entering her. Taking it slow as her barrier broke, he started whispering sweet nothings in her ear and placing kisses over her pulse points, trying to ease her pain.

After a while the pain subsided, and she was able to enjoy it.  
And enjoy it she did. Never had she felt such pleasure like this. Never had she though making love with Finn would feel this amazing. The high she was on she never wanted to leave.

Just like Rae, Finn had never felt like this during sex before. But then again, he'd never mad love before.

Moaning, groaning and grunting as their climax's crashed down on them both, Finn stayed on top of and in side Rae for another five minutes before pulling out and away. But instantly pulling her into his side once he did.

Whispering their I love you's a final time - and a 'very happy birthday' from Finn and agreed by Rae - before drifting off into a peaceful sleep, both Rae and Finn and stupid grins on their faces. And it remained that way till morning, where they made love again.

(This then became their spot. For everything. Fighting, making up. Teasing. Flirting. And conceiving. They will bring their kids here. Their grand-kids and end up buried here.  
_In their spot._)


End file.
